friday :)

I've painted my nails bright pink. I havnt painted them anything other than clear for a while now. I think this perhaps reflects my mood ~ feeling much more positive! and aside from anything, it reflects the fact that I actually have a little bit of time this morning which is absolute luxury. I've sat in my PJs watching morning TV, painting my nails and watching sex and the city trailors. I'm so desperately excited to see it! :)

Wednesday

Feeling somewhat brain-dead and uninspired.

Saturday

I've had a lovely day :) really low key, but lovely all the same. It's so nice to just chill out sometimes, no pressure :) went to Bath and had a wander and a poke around the shops, then for coffee.
For dinner we are doing a fish experiment, hope it goes well!
To top it all off, it's been a beautiful day. Please be coming back summer!!

interview jitters!

I feel the need to have a small bitch about how mean it is to keep a girl waiting...possibly just to tell her you dont want her...
what's the result of today? who knows... yet!
The story time with the kids went well I thought (well, it must have done, I got through!) but as for the interview: it was hard to tell, they made the right noises. But my silly ramblings may have just been a load of old rubbish compared with what the other girls may have said! They said the'd ring at 6:30. It's 8.08.

feelings:
anticipation
nervous
sticky
want a shower. Earlier I was too worried to go to the toilet incase they rang. .. Now I'd quite like a bath. daren't do that either!
It cannot be good to put your body through this!

It certainly isn't nice to think that you're being judged. Summed up on a bunch of silly questions that didn't really reflect me. My 'good' and 'bad' points hashed out by pretty much complete stranges.
I wonder if this is what it's like to be a celebrity ~ but constantly. ?
(not that I think I have any celebrity status in any small way.)

Note to self. Be less judgemental, especially of complete strangers!!

blue

I feel stressed today. The day itself wasn't too bad, altho my english lesson wasn't as good as I'd hoped...hopefully tomorrows will be better, I don't need to worry too much, afterall, it was my first time teaching the class. But it's difficult not to be negative. I've just got the biggest headache and sinking oh-god-i-can't-do-this feeling
*sigh!*
I have to remember that my PE lesson went well & the children were engaged and enjoyed the activity :) phew! It's hard to control them in the big hall!

I think it would help if I felt that my teacher actually cared about me and what I'm doing. I wish she was a bit more interested in her role as mentor, or even pretened that she likes me. It's not that I need to be her best friend...a supportive ally would be enough. I seem to be spending most of the week floating about on my own. maybe it'll be a good thing that she's leaving me with the class on my own all the time? we'll see.. I just have to get super good at time filling, which is a negative area anyway, so surely I can only get better at it?!

Here's to positivity and trying to persuade myself that I can do this job.